I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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