The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You can't just leave with hair like that
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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