i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
