i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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