I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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