i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
