Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
its liver damage thursday
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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