I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
