You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
