haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
