Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
It was a blind-side dick pic.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
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