Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
