Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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