I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
