Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize