Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
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Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
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