conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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