I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
