Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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