I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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