his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
