You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
