where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
