Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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