I think I died a long time ago.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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