If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
