I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
