Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize