i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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