What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
