she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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