don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
