I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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