that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
