So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Congratulations! We have a period
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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