the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
