He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
