You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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