worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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