we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
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