Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Randomize
