its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
