The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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