I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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