oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize
