I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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