And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
A bitchslap is in order.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
