He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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