So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
