is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I skipped work to stalk him.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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