did you get engaged???
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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