It's Friday. Sex?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
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