morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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