The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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