She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
