He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
